A Few Words About Life

Of course words needn’t be written about life.

Not so much because there are many words already written about life.

To me it is more that a word cannot possibly describe anything completely, let alone one of the biggest words: Life.

It is irony, that some of the biggest words are some of the smallest. But perhaps it is not an accident, but justice, I am no expert on words.

Still, like many people, I have a wanting to put down in words an interpretation. I am hoping that writing will help me to solidify feelings and thoughts that cannot be solid, but are ever changing.

Let me clarify that by saying that I think often of what life is, and means, and try to create words and analogies in my mind. But, like waking from a dream, the words, and analogies get dimmer, as the other inevitable thoughts, and distractions enter therein.

I don’t expect to find perfection, or peace in these writings of mine, just as I don’t expect to find anything through seeking. Seeking is not finding, and finding is just a word for that particular moment.

As I do like analogies, I would like to say, that life could be compared to a complex mirror. A mirror that reflects; not only light and images, but thoughts, feelings, words, tastes, smells, sounds, and have I missed any?

This mirror being complex, I want to say, not only reflects these living ideas, but all matter, and all matter, may be life. I am not saying life is only matter. That too, would boil it down, hang it up to dry, and render any word meaningless. Again, I seek with words, and obviously, words cannot find.

I may be able to describe comprehensive aspects of a simple object, in words, but the words, will never be the object.

In words, I suspect that the part of me that I see, and sense, is the reflection, of every, other thing in this life, that I have seen, sensed, related to, touched, heard, etc. I am the same complex mirror that every other, atom in the universe is.

Okay, I just had to go there. I am no scientist, but I have heard of atoms, and that everything (except for nothing) is created of atoms. So they bump around, and form this and that and create a reaction for every action, ala, this complex mirror, (possibly).

(Except for nothing) Hmmm. We can write a word pointing to nothing, just as we can write a word pointing to something. Interesting.

Is it possible to have something without nothing? I don’t mean on paper or in words, but in reality? Oops, I guess reality is another word. So words really, are, or seem to be futile. I would guess that a lot of people, toy with the meaning of words, simply because life has become sufficiently leisure, to allow it. Instead of just surviving, we spend time thinking about it.

I don’t want to throw caution to the wind, and call this bad, or good. If it is not possible, to have, (at least on paper in words) something without nothing, than it may be just as possible, that they, (good and bad, something and nothing) are one in the same thing.

If this is the case, then a mirror will never see itself, by looking for itself. Or, simply, I may never see my self by looking for myself. I may only see myself, by looking at other mirrors. And of course this is not truly myself but just a reflection, and at the same time may be the closest I can get to seeing.

I have read, and do not know who I am quoting, that “one must lose themselves, to find themselves”.

I am thinking the realization, (if indeed it is) (I believe it, but cannot sufficiently express it, because again I am grasping for words to explain the unseen and unknowable) that just knowing that seeking is not finding, and finding is just not looking, is enough.

What I mean by enough, is that I think real knowing, is not knowing.

Is this knowing, or not knowing, going to help me?

If I really feel, I cannot know, how can I possibly be bothered by it?

If I cannot possibly be bothered by it, than how can I ever think bad thoughts? How can I even judge thoughts to call them bad?

I believe, it is because as I keep looking into all of life’s mirrors, I keep forgetting that it is my own reflection I am seeing.

I am supposing that by practicing (remembering), that this is my reflection, constantly, hopefully (and hopefully, hopefully, is not just another word for seeking) I will get good at it.

When I say (good at it) I mean (good at life) (peaceful) (at peace) (accepting) (not attached) I like those words, but will try not to think that they are anything or are even important, as they are just words.

That is all I can think of right now.

I also feel relieved, and surprisingly a little guilty, for writing it down. The guilt, I believe, comes, from believing that words will always be a poor reflection of what is, and what is not and what is, and not, and on and on.

My humblest apologies.