Forgive

I love the subject of forgiveness. I even made up a definition, though it may not be true. My made up definition is that forgive, or for-give, means to (first-give). I don’t see forgiveness as a judging kind of action. If I decide that I can forgive because I can see how the other person could arrive at some erroneous conclusion or state of being than I am judging that person. It may be that I took a lot of time, effort, and thought to arrive at the conclusion that I can forgive the person, but it is still judging them.

If I decide to first-give, then instead of embarking on the judgement route at all, I can try to treat that person with respect, kindness, and civility. It is easy to see how someone could look at a person who has committed violence, especially toward ones self or loved ones, and judge that person as undeserving of any respect whatsoever.

My thought (and of course this is all just my current opinion), is that if someone is being violent, then hopefully they can be stopped by myself or someone else. Some may point out that stopping violence might necessarily be violence in itself. I have to think that “intent” is the important issue here. If the intent is to simply stop the violence, then it seems to me that it does not have to be a judgmental or a hateful act, but instead can even be done respectfully. A person does not have to have hate in their heart to stop a violent act. I think that it is very sad that there are organizers of violence in the world and innocent people are pulled or pushed into it with no original ill intent. In war, a soldier may start out only intending to protect and defend, but become angry or bitter because of the circumstances of war or finding the dishonesty or politics of the war. We should pray and first-give goodwill and intent for our soldiers, so that they may keep their own.

For centuries people have often forgotten that we effect each other in war as well as in peace. That our actions and intent towards others have an effect that may not even be what we intended.
I’m saying that we should all first-give, even after someone has harmed us. We affect each other and first-giving is the only way to keep the intent of good-will alive and prospering. I like Teddy Roosevelt’s “speak softly, but carry a big stick”. Of course we should protect ourselves and each other. Just don’t forget that to others “we” are the others!